Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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