I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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