So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
