Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
