Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
