i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize