How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
