just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
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Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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