i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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