oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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