You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
