I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
