what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
