The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
