ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
