just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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