i think my mom watched the whole time
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
