dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
