Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
