he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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