Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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