Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize