saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
