he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
tell me about the eggs
Randomize