i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
