his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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