Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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