it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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