don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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