U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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