grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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