Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
