Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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