He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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