we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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