Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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