well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
