Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize