You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize