Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
