I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i barfeds in our rink
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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