so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
