Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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