weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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