yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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