Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
