i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my liver is dry heaving
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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