True but thats because hes a fetus.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
