Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
