Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
