guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
