saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
