So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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