I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
