So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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