I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
