Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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