My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this beer tastes like vomit already
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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