Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
