Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
