I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
