After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
