taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
