I can tuck mytits in my pants
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Who died my cat blue again?
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