I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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