The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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