If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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